I wonder if you running too

Today was large. Today was good. There was a nice breeze, and I finished a class.

I also went through a whole lot today. Its about this time every year I see my forever friend, I call family, former doctor, Aunt Eva.

I have known her my whole life. She is the one who took over my case and treated me for my leukemia. We have stayed close though she has moved back to Prague long ago.

I don't really think to often about my cancer. Its a passing thought if I do.

I don't account for how really, really how lucky I am. I am defiantly blessed.

Every single breathe I take is a blessing.

Every friend, every heart ache, every day I see my parents.

I'm blessed.

It hits heavy on my heart when I take into account all that I've been through, and even harder when I see it in the ones who went through it with me.

Today, I saw my life in Eva's eyes. I saw myself grown up.

Just her reaction this time I saw her, hit deep, and is now sleeping in my bones.

Just her large smile as she said it was crazy how grown up I was, then she said she hardly reconized me.

and at that moment I hardly reconized myself either.

I look at the photo we took and I still don't know how I got to 20 so fast.
Life seemed to fly by here. Ive compared it to a picture of me when I was just a kid.

It just seems like yesterday.

Today I laughed, I cried, I was inspired, I was reassured.

Her simple words, are always honest and always thick with accent.

They are powerful.

Her talking about my life and it's future, and how much there is left out there.

Her talking about falling in love and going for it.

Her saying how she was happy just to see me and my sister.

I couldn't help but thank the Lord for everything in my life, ever at that moment.

I could help but worry about everything at that moment, just to soon overcome it. Peter and the wolf was playing in my head " and I wonder if your running too"

Her sufficating hug, was a much need one. Everything is fine.

Lets travel

Lets paint

Lets sings

Lets read

Lets disappear

Lets Learn

Lets fall in love

Lets live life why don't we?

sounds sound to me.

Today was large.

Eva is great.

Family is love.

Life is good.

Friends are amazing.

The Lord is the greatest.

sleeping

for now.
a great couple months.
headed up with a list.
whats to come.

tunes and tunes to come

I cant wait to build up the makeshift studio in the winter.

but for now, ill keep to myself.
there has recently been alot on the ol'thinker.
I would be lying if I said its not over thinking.

I cant wait till it gets cold enough to go buy a abnormal amounts of new sweaters, and bust out the old standbys. Have frozen cheeks, and feel the cold in my lungs.

I like the colors outside recently. there seems to be a glow.
It could be my glasses. ha.

I cant finish my short story.
I cant finish my thoughts and feelings.
I cant say what I mean.
I want to see through it. and see it through.

"There's piles on my floors of artifacts from dresser drawers."

Are your eyes like mine?

I felt lonely today. Rode my bike around, and read Psalms.

I was thinking, and if for a moment I could fix your eyes on what I see.

not wonder. with an ear to the ground. just know.

count the steps, add them up, and hope it's where I am.

it doesnt. it's unsaid. and fleeting. knowing. dissapearing. and often collecting. its out of my control.

Though I feel this way,
I'm thankful for everything in my life.

I pray it's there, or show up, or something.

its all I can think.

"In peace I shall both lie down and sleep, for you alone, Lord, make me secure."